Missing home

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Almost exactly a year ago my tourist visa for being in the US was up and I was about to head home to Sweden. We didn’t really have a plan for the next step since Ever had his job here and didn’t want to leave, and I couldn’t afford to keep traveling back and forth every three months, recent graduate from college and broke. SO I left with a really heavy heart, not even knowing when we were going to see each other again. He said he’d follow me a month or two later to experience the Swedish summer and then we could go back to NYC together. But he hates planning and has to do everything spontaneous so he didn’t buy a ticket.

Turned out it was the hardest summer of my life – after living together for 6 months we weren’t even able to talk on the phone every day because of the time difference. He used to be a party animal so that worried me. He freaked out a bit about the distance, saying he needed to feel free, and knowing that the decision and responsibility to bring me back was totally his. He even told me he couldn’t do it.

But also, it was one of the best summers in my life. I got to go back home after spending a year away (Thailand, Burma, US) and see the Swedish summer from another perspective. I loved my home country again (although I’ve ALWAYS lived for the Swedish summer!), met a lot of new people because living abroad on my own had made me more confident, I found a summer job really quick because of that and I spent a lot of time with my family and close friends.

Eventually he DID come to Sweden, we did go back together, and we got married. It’s been a tough year but it’s always been going better and better. He’s a complicated man and I just want everyone to be happy. But I learned I need to look out for my own happiness to be able to survive. And this year when I go home to Stockholm for the summer, I will do it confidently and happy, knowing for sure that everything will be ok.

Missing home

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